All Quiet On The WARstern Front

It's now been about seven days since we've had any new WAR news, aside from a couple meager servings of clarification.

Now, it could be that Mythic is pretty much done with these sorts of press releases because the NDA is about to lift. That could totally be true.

And yet it's not. Starved of any new information, weary, despondent and hungry, now I finally see the truth :

There is no game aside from what we've seen.

What have we seen? Players running around starter areas? Ha! Players that wander out of the starter areas will fall off the edge of the world because there's no world there.

You think you can gain levels, but have you seen anyone gain a level? Have you? No. If you gain a level your computer will explode, because there is no level 2.

What about your precious pets? Your pretty white lions? (all white lions are pretty from what I've seen) Your darling little squigs? Your little goblin shamans? They Do Not Exist. They are only available at level 3, which is one level beyond impossible.

They've told us they cut four classes and four capitol cities. This is only to prepare us, to soften us for the news that they've cut twenty classes and four more capitol cities.

What? You think you've seen the guild interface? The crafting interface? WRONG! You've seen nothing! You've only seen what Mythic wants you to see.

You thought you saw Jeff Hickman and Paul Barnett talking about the game, but that too is a lie. Jeff Hickman is a robot, and Paul Barnett isn't even British, he's Canadian.

There is only one feature implemented in the game, and that is the Tome of Knowledge. But you will not be able to earn any rewards in the tome because the tasks provided by the stone do not really exist. The Tome will just be a picture, and PunkBuster will ban you for viewing it.

In the grim darkness of the future, there is only warcraft.